Thomas Handsome Presents: The Caucasian Mix
You all have witnessed it: stuck in traffic, slamming your hands on the steering wheel, yelling at the "asshole" who must have left work early in his 24 foot wide Yugo with a max speed of 17 MPH who "purposefully" caused this traffic jam. You start honking your horn at the person who in front of you to move, who in turn honks their horn at you for honking at them, which causes you to honk at them for "being such a sack-faced-dick-guzzler" (am I the only one who says this?)... etc, etc...
Then you look at the person next to you in traffic: windows up, sunglasses on, a cigarette or a marijuana in their hands singing their fat hairy ass off. You ask yourself, "Why is this jerk so happy? What makes this situation so much better for him than it does for me?"
The answer:
The Caucasian Mix
You see, that person is white and singing along with a song he knows maybe 20% of the words to. Does that stop him? No. They're going in on every word of that damn song, whether he knows them or not. And that, my friend, is what The Caucasian Mix is all about.
Throw your troubles to the wind, embrace the inner Caucasian that trims your shrubs every Saturday morning and makes you know the names of wrestlers, tennis players, plants and watch companies. That inner Caucasian that gives you the patience to watch 300 cars drive in 146,000 circles for hours at a time. That inner Caucasian that loves Americanized Mexican food that it can't properly pronounce.
I will post a new "Caucasian Mix" video as often as possible for you to shake your white ass to (be it a temporary white ass or not). You can catch me doing The Caucasian Mix every Saturday at around 4pm EST on www.kopn.org or just search KOPN on the TuneIn App.
-Thomas Handsome
Then you look at the person next to you in traffic: windows up, sunglasses on, a cigarette or a marijuana in their hands singing their fat hairy ass off. You ask yourself, "Why is this jerk so happy? What makes this situation so much better for him than it does for me?"
The answer:
The Caucasian Mix
You see, that person is white and singing along with a song he knows maybe 20% of the words to. Does that stop him? No. They're going in on every word of that damn song, whether he knows them or not. And that, my friend, is what The Caucasian Mix is all about.
Throw your troubles to the wind, embrace the inner Caucasian that trims your shrubs every Saturday morning and makes you know the names of wrestlers, tennis players, plants and watch companies. That inner Caucasian that gives you the patience to watch 300 cars drive in 146,000 circles for hours at a time. That inner Caucasian that loves Americanized Mexican food that it can't properly pronounce.
I will post a new "Caucasian Mix" video as often as possible for you to shake your white ass to (be it a temporary white ass or not). You can catch me doing The Caucasian Mix every Saturday at around 4pm EST on www.kopn.org or just search KOPN on the TuneIn App.
-Thomas Handsome
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I'll kick things off with some of my favorites. Some of you will see these selections and will already know that I play them way too much as it is, and may even hear my dreaded singing voice going in over the top of the vocals. For that, I apologize. But for those of you who are less than familiar, let's get this shit rolling!
First up is one of my personal favorites, "What Have I Done To Deserve This" by The Pet Shop Boys. Guys dressed like girls, girls that look like men... it's gotta be from the 80's! Next up is "Steppin Out" by Joe Jackson. The video is crazy in my opinion, and not just because of the way Joe Jackson's face naturally looks. Finally we're gonna rock with Tony, Toni, Tone in the New Jack era. Enjoy this Caucasian Mix. If you don't sing out loud with these joints, I will find you. |
